Thursday, November 14, 2013

The Pain Behind The Smile

"I know better..."  
That's what I keep telling myself.  
"It'll all be okay one day."  
Is the hope I cling onto. 
I push the plate of untouched food away as I hold your picture to my chest in pain. 
Why did you leave me here this way? 
My heart keeps crying. 
I'm left alone with no one knowing the agony my heart is in. 
Looking at your picture, I gently touch your face with my finger as the tears stream down. 
I still hear your voice telling me that I'm beautiful and an amazing girl. 
It keeps me from drawing the blade. 
"You should know you are not alone." 
Is what they all say. 
Do they even know? 
I don't care for my path, anyways. 
I thought it so clear, the life I wanted. 
But since you have gone, I can't even find the stars at night. 
The moon has shattered, and the sun has blackened. 
All the light I came to know, all of it has gone away. 
You were the one that I came to know that would hold my hand on the way. 
The trees that mocked me, you kept them at bay. 
I'm trying to smile, so your spirit can know, that I'll be alright. 
The king you left behind is struggling, 
His queen won't stop lying and casting darkness. 
The prince has yet to learn his way. 
And the princess has tried to act like nothing has changed. 
I'm trying, I truly am. 
To aid their path like you wanted me to. 
The pain keeps my heart bleeding, 
The tears hidden by the hair I cannot trim, 
For fear they'll see the girl behind the mask, 
See the pain, behind my smile. 
I need you to know, 
That I'll be okay. 
I'm just trying to find my way. 
Why did you leave me here like this? 
So I can face this pain, alone. 
I'm smiling you see? 
"The pain means nothing to me." 
The tears have run dry. 
The light has left my eyes. 
The walls have crumbled down. 
I will find my way on my own.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Second Hand to a Lost Love

Alright. So I haven't written in a while... Update.. Got my heart broken, fell in love again, now it appears my heart might shatter again. I've known this boy for several years and finally decided to agree to date him. Everything was going heavenly, but perhaps I was living in a high. I know I'm normally giving out advice, but this time I am at a loss of words. How does someone react when the person they love calls them, crying, about their ex that came before you? I can feel the sores in my heart beginning to bleed again from the pain to think that they might still be in love with that person and just using you to get over the pain. I feel torn because I want to believe his words when he says he's over her, but no one cries with such pain in their voice like he had unless they loved the person. Guys, it may seem strange, but I really could use with some help... Anyways, I'll try to write more in the future.
                            -Forever and Always, Love-Hate Girl.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Death in Paradise

Alright! Normally I would never spread so much hate but the bottle needs to be shattered. Most won't understand who but things have become tense. She... She has driven me mad. My entire life I learned that I must share and care for my siblings and others. My latest sibling has come from a home where she lived as the only child and as much as she claims, she knows nothing of sharing! We have to share a room yet she barks at me if I even consider leaving something lying about but she creates a disaster in our room. As if that was not enough she doesn't thank me for what I do. I help her in her relationship, I clean the room when she is away so she can have it nice and neat when she returns tired, and after we got our own Xbox I got her back to where she last played. I replayed an entire game for her! No thank yous. I've grown tired of her taking all the credit for cleaning while she blames me for a mess and constantly using me as a verbal punching bag. I cannot stand this forever, yet I'm forced to keep silent and pray each night she will finally learn. So much for having advice for everything... Sorry for the rants.
                -Forever yours,
                   Love-Hate Girl

Thursday, March 7, 2013

World Stupidity

When will people learn. In history we watched a movie and it spoke about 9/11... America is a sleeping dragon. You poke the dragon and it will burn you. Russia is a giant that will stomp out what challenges it. Every nation will defend themselves yet still idiots feel that because someone does not hold the same government or religion then that person needs to be struck down. Useless wars that stain the future and for what? There's no prize, there will never be a real victory. So just cut it out. I want to say I was there when the world was finally at peace. When there is no war, no conflict, and no hostility, then there will be a prize that will seem like a gift from all gods of every religion.

Lazarus : The Rebirth

I have returned from my silent darkness. Many many things I have to share. First off: finals... They suck. I'm sure we all agree. Next: The need to change, and man have things changed. We will not go forth on that this post. Just wanted to inform everyone I have returned and things are going well. Forever yours, truely and dearly, Love-Hate Girl